


Just Sleep

by lovesnarf (snarfette)



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Mild Angst, SSW aftermath, Soft Robert, soft Aaron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-01-26 09:55:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12554872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarfette/pseuds/lovesnarf
Summary: Part 1: Robert struggles to sleep after the car crash. Aaron comforts him.Part 2: After the crash, Aaron struggles to deal with the knowledge that Robert would have stayed with him in the car.





	1. Part 1: Robert

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by an anon prompt/ask on tumblr looking for soft!Aaron comforting Robert.

“Rob?”

Aaron’s quiet voice shook him from his trance. He had no idea what time it was: late, or maybe early depending on how you looked at it. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been staring up at the ceiling.

It was dark outside and that was part of the problem. He couldn’t seem to settle in the dark anymore. As he lay in their bed trying to get to sleep, all he could see was darkness surrounding him, surrounding Aaron, and he couldn’t stop picturing them trapped inside that car at the bottom of a lake, water crushing down on them.

And Aaron trapped.

He couldn’t stop seeing it. He couldn’t stop feeling that panic and fear that this was it. He was going to lose Aaron forever. But he’d have stayed with him: he really would. He would never have left Aaron in that car alone. To die alone.

He shuddered at the thought of it.

“Why are you awake?” Aaron asked him quietly.

“Can’t sleep,” Robert replied simply, like it was nothing. He gently stroked his fingers across Aaron’s cheek. “Go to sleep. You need the rest.”

Aaron was watching him closely through the gloom of the bedroom. He’d only been home from hospital for a day and Robert wasn’t sure he should have even been released but he wasn’t going to complain about having him home. He was too selfish. He wanted him there where he could see him and touch him and know that he was there and alive.

“I’m not going to sleep until you do,” Aaron told him gently.

“Aaron...” Robert began but he was cut off by soft fingertips pressing against his lips gently.

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” Aaron whispered. “I know you.” He leant up on his elbow, Robert watching his face and listening for any sign of discomfort, and looked down at Robert. It was hard to see him properly with just the moonlight filtering through the curtains but it was enough for Robert to know that he was there.

“If you can’t sleep, I want you to wake me up,” Aaron said.

Robert huffed but Aaron shook his head slightly. “I mean it, Robert. I might have been the one that ended up in a hospital bed, but you were in that car too. You were scared too.”

Robert squeezed his eyes closed. “You...I keep seeing it,” he admitted. “I keep thinking about what might have happened. What if I hadn’t been able to do enough to get you out? I might have lost you.”

Aaron’s fingertips stroked across his eyebrow. “You didn’t.”

“You nearly drowned,” Robert breathed out on a shuddery breath.

“But I didn’t,” Aaron reassured him. “I’m here. Robert, open your eyes; look at me.”

Robert forced his eyes open. They were sore from lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion. He’d been running on empty since the accident but still couldn’t find enough peace to sleep. He peered up at Aaron who was hovering over him slightly now.

“We made it. We’re both here. We’re both alive. You saved me. If you can’t stop thinking about it, just keep remembering that. You were enough: you are enough. That’s all that matters now.”

Robert blinked at him, his eyelids suddenly feeling heavy.

Aaron smiled at him softly in the darkness. He leant down and pressed a gentle, chaste kiss against Robert’s lips. “Sleep, Robert,” he whispered as he pulled back. He lay back down, body pressed close against Robert’s side. “I’m here. And you know.”

“I know,” Robert replied quietly. He turned his head slightly towards Aaron, breathing him in, relishing the warmth of his body. He closed his eyes. The darkness didn’t seem so daunting with Aaron pressed against him, feeling his heartbeat as a reminder that they really had survived, his reassuring words replaying in his mind. And finally, Robert slept. 


	2. Part 2: Aaron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewatched the post-SSW hospital scenes and Aaron’s soft little ‘Don’t’ when Robert said he’d have stayed with him seriously pulled on my heart-strings and inspired this little ficlet. 
> 
> I thought it tied in well with the ficlet I’d written about Robert struggling to deal with the crash so I added it to Just Sleep. However, the two parts are stand alone.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you thought.

“And I would’ve stayed with you, you know. Whatever happened.”

“Don’t.”

Aaron couldn’t stop thinking about it. When all the excitement of the visitors and the news of their engagement was over, and everyone had had to leave (including Robert who’d looked like he was leaving a limb behind as he’d walked out of the door looking back over his shoulder at Aaron constantly), Aaron was left with his thoughts. And he couldn’t stop thinking about what Robert had said.

He would have stayed with Aaron, even if his own death had been the result.

It was like some sort of tragic Romeo and Juliet scenario and Aaron had never been one to buy into sickeningly romantic love stories. Except with Robert, he could actually believe in it.

They would have died in that car at the bottom of that lake together. Robert would have had to watch Aaron drown and then wait in despair for his own fate, to take his own last breath. Just so they could be together.

He shuddered as he pictured it. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced the images away. It hadn’t happened like that. They were both safe: they’d both made it.

***

“Are you alright?” Robert asked for the hundredth time since Aaron had been home. “Do you want another pillow? Are you sure you’re comfortable?”

“I’m fine, Robert. Stop fussing,” Aaron snapped and then winced as he saw the hurt flash across Robert’s face.

He was sore and just so, so tired. The painkillers that the hospital had given him were strong and helped to knock him out, but when he was asleep he had nightmares that he couldn’t escape from. So he’d decided to stop taking them because then at least he could wake up sweating, heart racing, but free from the things his sleeping brain was showing him.

Because he couldn’t stop seeing Robert drowning.

Sometimes in his dreams, the car door was wide open but Robert refused to swim out to safety. He had the chance to get out but he just wouldn’t go, no matter how much Aaron begged and pleaded for him to save himself.

Sometimes Aaron was trapped in the car just like he had been, but instead of losing consciousness as he slipped beneath the water, he was awake and watching as Robert spluttered as the water covered his nose and mouth. He watched the panic on his face and then the way his features went slack as the light faded from his eyes. And he could do nothing to save Robert. He just screamed into the water: his cries muted and lost.

Sometimes Aaron woke up inside the car to find Robert already dead. As he shook him and screamed for him to wake up, Robert’s face, bloated and pale from being in the water, would loom out of the darkness towards him. And Aaron was trapped, crying and useless in the car, alone with the corpse of the man he loved so much.

“I’m not leaving you!” Robert’s desperate cries echoed through his mind and he knew that Robert wouldn’t. But the fear that brought him was almost too much to bear.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

Robert was still hovering nearby, looking unsure of what to do after being told off. And Aaron just felt all the more guilty because of the expression on his face.

“It’s alright,” Robert told him as he sat down on the coffee table in front of Aaron, an anxious look on his face. He was worried, clearly. “You must be exhausted. Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll tell Chas not to let anyone back here. Or we could move you upstairs.”

“No,” Aaron said immediately. He didn’t want to be upstairs, alone in bed where he was bound to fall asleep and his nightmares would find him. “I’d rather be down here. You’re...going to be around, right?”

Robert smiled softly and gave a little nod. “Of course. I’ll stay with you.”

The innocent words caused Aaron’s stomach to flip as he flashed back to the car all over again. “I love you,” he blurted out.

Robert smiled again and pressed a kiss to his forehead as he stood up. “I love you, too.”

***

That night, Aaron finally had to give into the exhaustion. He felt sick with the effort of staying awake, so as Robert had slid into bed beside him and carefully pulled him close, he’d allowed himself to drift off.

Safe in Robert’s arms, he hoped for no more nightmares.

“No, no! You’ve gotta go.” He was resigned to it: he knew he had get Robert to leave now, before it was too late. He was trapped, but Robert could go: he could get out.

“No chance!”

“Robert! I am not having you dying in here because of me!” He couldn’t bear it. He needed Robert to go while he still could.

“I’m not leaving ya! No!”

“Robert!” He had to get him to stop, to listen to him, to go. “I love you, okay. I love you.” He was desperate. He needed Robert to know that and then he needed him to go. “Please just go.”

And Aaron was ready to let go. He could give up in that moment if Robert was safe.

But Robert wouldn’t go. He grabbed Aaron’s hand and was shaking his head. His mouth was moving but no sounds were coming out.

Aaron was under the water, but somehow he wasn’t drowning. Robert was. He watched in horror as Robert started convulsing, his eyes rolling back in his head. And he screamed.

“No! No, Robert! Please, no! You have to go: just go!” It was useless now, but he kept begging for Robert to leave.

Then there was a pressure on his chest, a hand on the side of his face, and a voice in his ear.

“Aaron! Aaron, wake up!” And it sounded as desperate as Robert had been in his nightmares and in the car that day. “Aaron!” It shouted again.

He gasped, expecting a mouth full of dirty water, but instead he drew in a ragged breath. His eyes flew open and he stared up into Robert’s wide eyes and terrified expression, illuminated by the glow from the bedside lamp.

“Rob?” he panted, dragging in air desperately.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Robert told him as he stroked a hand through his hair.

Eventually, he felt himself calm, his heart rate return to normal and he relaxed against his pillow.

“What happened?” Robert asked quietly, his eyes never leaving Aaron’s face.

“Just a nightmare,” Aaron muttered.

“I know that,” Robert replied. “What happened in the nightmare?”

Aaron squeezed his eyes closed. He didn’t want to talk about it. “It’s...I can’t.”

“You were screaming my name. You sounded terrified,” Robert told him. “Aaron? Talk to me...please.”

Aaron turned his head to look at him at the soft words. He blew out a long breath. “I just...I keep having these nightmares...that you stayed with me and you...” He shuddered. “You drowned. And I keep seeing it over and over. I can’t stop it. You died because of me.” He could feel tears trickling down his face and onto his pillow.

“Aaron,” Robert said so softly. He carefully pulled him close and helped Aaron lie his head against Robert’s chest. “It’s alright. We’re both alright. You’re safe and so am I. You don’t need to worry.”

Aaron squeezed his eyes closed again, trying to stop the tears leaking from them. “It’s not that easy,” he said quietly. “I know we’re okay. But I keep imagining it. I know you wouldn’t have left me and if you hadn’t got me out...I just...I can’t...” He trailed off, not knowing how to put his fears into words. He knew they were safe now but the knowledge that Robert would willingly die for him was overwhelming.

“But I did get you out,” Robert stated it so simply and so confidently. “You’re everything to me and I would’ve kept trying because there was no way I could’ve left you. I wouldn’t have wanted to carry on without you. I couldn’t have lived with myself.”

“If you’d died, it would’ve been my fault.” The words were almost whispered against Robert’s skin.

“No,” Robert said firmly. “It was my choice. And I’d make the same one every time.” His arms tightened around Aaron’s back, drawing him closer.

Aaron felt himself begin to relax for the first time in days, Robert’s words soothing his troubled mind and heart. “Promise me you won’t go anywhere until you’re grey and old.”

“Eighty or something, right?” Robert asked, and Aaron could hear the soft smile in his voice. “I’m here now, yeah? We both are. Don’t overthink. Let’s just make the most of what we have. Messed up forever, remember?”

Aaron sighed and nestled himself into Robert’s side. He could hear his heart beating as he pressed his ear to his chest. The steady beat was enough to lull him into a dreamless sleep.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is love. I’m snarfettelove on tumblr (where this ficlet is also posted).


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